Why Swimsuits Should be Banned

Without a doubt there are many oddities regarding human clothing. There is, however, no article of attire more puzzling or problematic than the swimsuit, which serves only one questionable purpose while also causing some problems that are not insignificant.

The only rational reason to put on a swimsuit is to cover parts of our bodies we don't want others to see, or that we presume other people will be offended by. At the same time, it generally takes less than a few minutes at a nude beach or pool to become perfectly comfortable being naked around other naked people. It shouldn't have to be said but being ashamed of or embarrassed about our bodies is not a good reason to put up with the many problems that swimwear presents, including the following:

It is Unhealthy

Yes. You read that right. Swimsuits are unhealthy, for many reasons. Most importantly, they introduce contaminants, including fecal material (aka "poop"), into our shared water. I know that is gross to talk about, but it is true.

You know those showers we are all supposed to take before getting into the pool? Well, those are supposed to wash away a host of possible contaminant that can get into our shared water. Swimwear actually traps these contaminants and then carries them into our pools, lakes, oceans and rivers.

Because swimsuits stay wet after we leave the water, they are also great breeding grounds for yeast and bacteria, increasing risks of jock itch for men and yeast infections for women. In other words, swimwear spreads a variety of disease, ranging from intestinal parasites to yeast and fungal infections. And, for what?

It is Uncomfortable

When your naked body gets out of the water, it quickly dries and adjusts to the outdoor temperature. But swimsuits stay wet, sticks to our skin and is cold and clammy-feeling (for up-to hours). It is generally much more comfy to let everything hang where it is supposed to hang. And, who wants to put on a cold wet swimsuit if you thinking of getting back in the water later?

It is Expensive

Have you seen those swimsuits that cost $100 or more?

OK. Sure. You don't HAVE to spend a ton of money to cover your "naughty" bits. Increasingly, however, that is the trend, because in a strange twist of irony the pieces of clothing we buy to cover our genitalia, we actually use to also enhance it. While "covering it up" we are also lifting it up and pushing it forward. And, we are paying designers a pretty penny to show off goods while also keeping the "appropriate" amount of cover.

All of which is pointless because our bodies our beautiful. Shaming them is harmful to our self-image. And, who wants to walk around with wet fabric between their legs?

We should get over all of this and just ban the swimsuit already!

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